Hey you guys!
Saturday got off to real chill start for me, and it was really nice. Normally I don’t give myself enough time to get everything done and I’m usually rushing from one thing to the next. But, Saturday was different. I woke up earlier than usual and was able to move through my morning routine at a leisurely pace.
This got me to thinking about self care in general, and the things I (should) do to keep myself centered while trying to juggle a full time job with being a wife along with a budding side hustle. I sat down and came up with a list of things that I turn to when I’m feeling out of sync.
Doing More of What I Enjoy
I say all the time that I’m an introverted extrovert. When I’m stressed and overwhelmed is when my introspective nature takes over. Unfortunately, like your typical introvert, that time alone doesn’t always re-energize me. Also, during those times is when I’m the least likely to do the things that typically bring me joy when those are the times I need to do exactly that. Of course forcing yourself to do something when you’re not feeling it seems counter-intuitive, but engaging in activities that you enjoy can improve your overall mood. When I’m out of whack, I spend more time with my family and friends. I listen to music; gospel, 90s R and B and Neo-Soul soothes me. I plan! Organization is surprisingly calming to me. I spend more time with God, worshipping and reading His word. When appropriate, I take quite time alone to reflect and order my thoughts.
In a time where social media is king, there is so many more opportunities to come in contact with people and energies that we wouldn’t have been able to 15 years ago. We have to be increasingly more diligent about who and what we allow in our physical life as well as our social sphere of influence. When I start feeling some type of way, I take a look at who and what I’m allowing into my space. Are relationships becoming toxic? Are people speaking negativity into your life as opposed to believing positive results for you? Are you allowing others to make you feel less than? Is your own perception making you feel less than? It’s important to consistently weed the garden that is your life, because if you don’t things can begin to take root unbeknownst to you. If something is no longer serving you, release it. That includes relationships, obligations, thoughts…especially thoughts! Nobody talks to you more than you. Be mindful of how you handle yourself. Consciously make a decision to shift automatic negative thoughts to more intentional positive thoughts. Easier said than done, I know, but it will get better with practice.
As a blogger/ influencer, my phone is CONSTANTLY in my hand. I even make excuses for it because I SHOULD be on my phone to be cultivating and growing my brand, right? WRONG! Ok, wrong and right! Haha! Even though I do need to spend a considerable amount of time interacting with social media as I’m building my brand, I don’t have to do it 24/7. Just as with anyone, I have to disconnect from screens at a certain point to begin to unwind. I also use the “do not disturb” function on my iPhone after 10pm. Fair warning, if you try to call or text me after 10, I probably won’t see it! Another big thing for me is TV at bedtime. Anyone whose ever read anything on sleep hygiene knows this is a big no no. It took years for me to come to terms with the fact that the TV doesn’t help me get to sleep; it actually does the opposite. The light from the screen only keeps me up, and depending on what’s playing, I’m listening! Lol! It’s definitely not conducive to sleep for someone whose brain lights up the minute my head hits the pillow. I obviously don’t need help avoiding sleep. More recently, I’ve taken to listening to music as I drift to sleep to help unravel my thoughts. Usually this is effective, but the other night a song came on right as I was drifting to sleep. I liked the song and just needed to know who was singing it. Of course I woke up to check my phone! 🤦🏾♀️ Can’t win for losing.
Taking Care of Myself Physically
This is one I continue to struggle with. I will work out five times a week and eat terribly three of those days. It really is a balancing act that takes discipline and commitment. I believe that if more of us (myself included) really appreciated the fact of what it means to not care for our bodies in our youth and how it will impact us as we age, fast food restaurants would shut down. But seriously, I know a lot of us are motivated to be fit to look good naked or scantily clad at best, but our physical health can affect our mental health. Working out and eating well can help us to be more energized. Hopefully more energy translates to being more productive. Productivity reinforces our feeling of accomplishment. And, if we get more of what we need to get done during the day, then we may have less to think about as we are trying to get to sleep at night. Then maybe we’ll get a more restful night’s sleep, wake up more refreshed and be on track for a more productive day thus creating this beautiful cycle. Moral of the story, take care of yo body fam (that’s for me too)!
Speaking of maintaining mental health, finding a way to process my difficulties is so helpful for me. When things get tough, I tend to shut down. I prefer to handle things alone because I feel that bringing other voices in will only make things hazy and confusing. This way of thinking, however, hinders me from fully processing the situation. Whenever I, reluctantly, let my guard down I always feel good about doing so. HOWEVER (insert huge red astrisk here), I am very mindful about who I talk to. I’m very selective about who I allow into my inner most circle. Not everybody should be privy to your personal information because not everyone wants you to succeed and be well. This goes back to taking inventory of those influences in your life and being diligent about doing so. I like to keep my circle reserved for those that I know will pour positivity into my life, those who will pray with and for me, and those who will respect and support me. Now that’s not saying that I surround myself with people who will only say what will make me feel good, but people who will be direct with me and do so out of love and a genuine interest in my well being.
What are some ways that you guys remain balanced in the hustle and bustle of life? Tell me in the comments below!
As always, if you have questions, comments or suggestions, talk to me. If you like what you see, subscribe!