It was on this day exactly two years ago that I married my best friend! The day was absolutely perfect; an unseasonably warm fall day in Charleston, SC. We were surrounded by family and friends who’d traveled from near and far to be with us. We are eternally grateful for the love and support that we experienced on that day.
This journey has been one amazing rollercoaster ride, to say the least. I’ve learned so much in these last two years, and am certain there is plenty more to discover. Today, I’d like to share the top five things I’ve learned in my short time as a wife. 🚨Disclaimer🚨: I am not a relationship expert nor do I provide relationship advice (unless you’re one of my girlfriends, then you can get these words!). I am only speaking to what I’ve learned in my own relationship, and what I’ve found to be of importance for my husband and myself.
1. Communicate! Obviously, this one is a no brainer. I’m sure 99% of you guessed this would be on the list before getting to this point. Surprisingly, this is one of the most difficult aspects of being in a relationship for me. My natural instinct is not to talk, but to listen (hello, therapist here 🙋🏽). I’d much rather listen to my husband talk about his needs as opposed to opening up and talking about my own. On the flip side of that, my dear sweet husband sincerely thinks I can read his mind (no, seriously), and he thinks I know everything. He’ll ask me questions he logically knows I don’t know the answer to and genuinely expect me to have an answer (*sitting in traffic* H: “Hey babe, what’s going on up there? W: “Obviously I have no idea. I’m in the car with you!). So, though I’m often ready and willing to hear what he has to say, he already thinks I know it! In this conundrum, we’ve found that keeping the communication alive in our marriage is a concerted effort. It takes both of us checking in with each other daily, asking questions and truly listening.
2. Fight Fair. I’m sure some eyes just got wide, but anyone who says they don’t argue with their spouse is lying (yeah, I said it). The fight, however, is not the issue here but rather how you fight. I’ve learned that hurtful words can linger far longer than I could have ever imagined. As a result, I’m mindful of what I say when my husband and I are in the heat of an argument. Though restraint can be difficult to muster when I’m fired up, I’m cognizant of the ramifications tongue lashing my husband can bring. After all, I CHOSE to enter in this marriage, and I CHOOSE to respect him no matter what the topic of today’s quarrel.
3. Laugh!…A lot! This is by far my favorite thing I’ve learned. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to joke, laugh and make others laugh. It’s no different in my marriage. When my husband and I met, we were very much opposite. Though I’m nearly 2 years his senior, he was much more reserved and mature. I, on the other hand, was the overly gregarious comedian. Over the years, we’ve rubbed off on each other and taken on more of one another’s personalities. We both love to laugh, and are constantly laughing about some benign thing are another when we’re with each other. With every snort and chuckle, our connection and partnership are somehow deepened. My favorite is when we’re able to make a covert reference to a private joke while in public and share a good laugh. So, next time you see us out “kekeing up” (as we like to say), you’ll know what’s up.
4. Embrace Vulnerability If embracing humor is my most favorite lesson, then this has to be me least. If there’s anything I hate, it’s feeling vulnerable and exposed. I prefer to keep my issues and hurts to myself and process them alone. However, as a wife, I’ve realized that I don’t have this luxury anymore. Yes, I still process before I bringing it to my husband, but I now appreciate how important it is to actually bring my concerns to him. I also appreciate the fact that I need to be a safe place for him to be vulnerable as well. I can’t wholly offer myself as a refuge if I’m not willing to seek the same in him; tying back into the notion of communicating effectively and choosing our words and battles wisely.
5. Support, support, support! If I don’t believe in my husband, someone else will. And vice versa. My husband and I are members of a small group facilitated by our church (shouts out to my church home, CityGate Church) dedicated to married couples. In one of our sessions, we discussed one of the main reasons spouses often go outside of their marriages; lack of support. You may often hear someone who’s experienced infidelity say he/she wasn’t even that attractive, yet they somehow attracted the attention of their significant other. Now, I in NO way endorse or support infidelity or any excuse for such behavior. But, I can understand the gravity of our innate need to feel supported by our loved ones. So, my husband and I continue to support each other dreams, goals, aspirations and any other harebrained schemes we can contrive (mostly my harebrained schemes 😬).
This weekend we traveled to Gatlinburg, TN for our annual family trip. Between cabin misadventures and severely steep inclines, it was an eventful one to say the least! The last time we were here was 3 years ago when my life ALMOST changed forever.
During this particular family trip, my now husband and I got engaged. I’m sure you’re thinking, “what’s the ALMOST changed about?!” 😂 No, I don’t say almost because getting married was the worst decision ever and my life is miserable. It’s actually quite the opposite! I say almost because, though Gatlinburg was my husband’s intended destination to pop the question, Mother Nature had other plans. When we arrived on Friday, it was fall. When we awoke on Saturday, it was winter. In some parts, up to 14 inches of snow had fallen while we slept. Needless to say, my husband’s dream of purposing to me on Mt. LeConte (the 3rd highest peak in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park) was dashed. The parkway and all the trails were shut down for the remainder of our visit. Of course the story didn’t end there as we did in fact get married (we’re just a few days shy of our 2nd anniversary). He proposed later in Asheville near Lake Lure.
In honor of our return to the place where the journey to #Hymanpartyof2 ALMOST started, I thought it’d be fun to recreate my look from that fateful day. Take a look and tell me how I did!
Vest: North Face
I purchased the shirt from Target a while back (clearance rack find). Here’s a really cute alternative.
The scarf I also got from Target a few years back. I found a very similar one on Nordstrom’s website.
The jeans, which don’t get much love in this post, are from Old Navy’s Rockstar line (see them here).
Here’s a snippet of our actual engagement (disclaimer: my family is extremely animated! I love them❤️).
As always, if you have any question, comments or suggestions, talk to me! If you like what you see, subscribe!
Hey, hey! You know what today is! In honor of #TBT, I’m looking back at three of my favorite looks from Summer ‘17.
This hot little number is one of my all time faves😍. I purchased it from Bebe circa summer 2015 to be used for one the many events leading up to my wedding. I ended up wearing it to our rehearsal dinner. This was only my second time wearing it, and luckily it still fit 😂. This dress is no longer available on Bebe’s site, but I found a similar, very affordable version here. Btw, New York and Company is Bae!
The shoes, I picked up from Rack Room Shoes during one of their crazy awesome buy one get 2 free sales (I might have made that up, but I did leave with 3 pairs of shoes that day 🤷🏽♀️). These shoes are no longer available on the Rack Room website, but I did find them here on a site based out of the UK.
2. Unfortunately, I picked this romper up closer to the end of the summer so it didn’t get as much love as it deserved. However, it did come in handy for my girlfiend’s summer baby shower! I found this romper on a clothing truck of all places! Actually, a mobile boutique. The open back detail had me at “hello,” and the loose, flowy fit of the shorts is perfect for a girl like me who’s bountifully blessed in the thigh department (my husband says he likes it 🙏🏾). Overall, she’s a real winner.
The shoes are one of the three pair I picked up from Rack Room. You can find them here. 3. And finally, my summer fave 😍. Shoulder was definitely the new leg for me this summer. I mean, off the shoulder everything! I found this bell sleeved beauty from Amazon (see it here), where I’ve found a surprising percentage of my wardrobe. Amazon has literally everything. Prime is a must in my home ☝🏾.
The jeans are from New York and Company’s Soho line (did I mention how much I love them?). These pants have the right amount of stretch to be comfy as well as cute. You can find them here. Plus, I just peeped that their Soho line is currently bogo 50% (thank me later).
The shoes I came across in a more unconventional way (more unconventional than Amazon? Oh yes!). I scoped these puppies out from a picture my cousin sent me (no, the picture wasn’t of this shoe, per se). I’m always shopping! One enlarged screen shot and a text message later, she snagged them for me 😂. To save you some time and effort, I’ve linked them here. As always, if you have any question, comments or suggestions, talk to me!
Talk soon! 💋
Well, here it is…the most dreaded/loved day of the week (or every two weeks if you really dread it like me 😩). WASH DAY!
Though I dread the actual act of washing my hair, I do enjoy trying products and finding what works for me. I’ve been chemical free for approximately 7 years, and this continues to prove a difficult feat. Especially since the right and left sides of my head are sisters and not twins 🤦🏾♀️. The right retains moisture fairly easily and grows more quickly with curls that are (ever so slightly) looser. The left side is more dry and is taking its sweet, sweet time to grow with curls that are more dense. So, needless to say, it’s difficult to find one product that works for my whole head! I’m still on the hunt, and welcome suggestions.
After twisting my hair (I NEVER wash without twisting), I start with the Pantene Pro-V Moisturizing Cleansing Conditioner which I picked up from Target. Now, I can’t lie, I saw the gold label and immediately thought I’d found a product from the Pantene Gold Series which was developed for textured hair. I later realized I was sadly mistaken. However, I was still pleased with the result! So much so, I went back for seconds. It’s leaves my hair super soft and moisturized.
Though I deep condition each time I wash, I still like to condition while in the shower. I initially thought this Camille Rose Moroccan Pear Conditioning Custard was a styling product (apparently, I don’t read 😩), so I used it as such. This was my first time actually using it as a conditioner. I’ll report back with final decision on its effectiveness for my hair.
Next it’s time for deep conditioning (oh yes!). Mielle Organics Babassu Oil & Mint Deep Conditioner is my go to. Not only do I deep condition with it, but I also use it as a detangler. My hair gets tangled so easily AND I’m very, very tender-headed (Jesus be a fence!), so this is a life saver for me. After working it through each of my twists, I pop on a plastic cap and my Hot Head bonnet for about 45 minutes.
After conditioning, I’m sure you can guess what comes next…moisturizing and sealing ☝🏾! I’m a fan of the L-O-C method (Liquid- Oil-Cream, but Cream comes before Oil 😉)for these purposes.I use Mielle Organics White Peony Leave-in Conditioner followed by Mielle Organics Avocado Moisturizing Hair Milk and a mixture of Mielle Organics Mint Almond Oil, Jojoba Oil and Tea Tree oil to seal the deal. I work these products through each twist in the order listed. This usually leaves my hair manageable and ready to be put into a bun 😅! The magic wash-and-go fairy dust apparently missed me, or I’ve just not perfected my method. But, that’s a topic for another day 🙆🏽.
As always, if you have any question, comments or suggestions, talk to me!
Talk soon! 💋
Well obviously this title is a touch inaccurate, unless you’re a psychic…which you’re probably not so I’ll fill you in.
If you checked out my about page, then you have at least a general idea of why I’m here; to talk pretty things! But why another blog about makeup/hair/fashion?! Why not?! Plus, there’s plenty room for each of us to shine in our own right.
So folks, I don’t just want to talk pretty things; I want to talk pretty things for those of us who can appreciate a budget (hello somebody!). I’ve always believed it’s not all about where you find your products, but how you use/style your products. I love making great finds and sharing those finds with you. With that, if there’s ever anything I share and, for some crazy reason, don’t attach a tag or reference feel free to ask!
I’m so excited to be starting this journey with you! I pray you stick around and that I can be of some use to you. Talk soon! 💋